My ex husband is dating help

He was nobody, and his words and actions meant nothing. By this point, I was determined to make it on my own no matter what the cost.I was working part-time at a grocery store and about 75% of my income went to childcare just so I could go to work. I got little sympathy because mothers are just biologically supposed to be able to handle that stuff.I mean, how is he supposed to know if I don’t want to anymore? I remember hearing that you just have to do it a “whole bunch of times” to get all broken in, and then it will start to feel good.If someone had told me that just because I’m sleeping in the same room with a penis, that doesn’t make me obligated to have sex with it—or that I could actually say yes one time, no the next time, and yes another time—I would have thought they had lost their marbles. I’d heard all my life about the drudgery of marital “duties.” At morning devotionals we were taught that sometimes you’re not going to want to do “things” with your husband, but you must always be available “when he calls.” “The wife has no authority over her own body but yields it to her husband…” [I Cor 7:4] My own mother always pointed out that Sarah called Abraham “lord.” [I Peter 3:6] I’m not sure how “when he calls” translates into when he pins you down on the bed and forces himself on you, but somehow, I honestly never drew that distinction. One day, despite all my ignorance and naivety, I finally recognized it as keep him from breaking my only means of transportation…

When he texted me a picture of this kid’s truck with the phrase, “This is the before,” and threatened to break his knee caps, I was afraid of what he would do if I didn’t make him feel better somehow.We’re okay saying “I was abused and survived,” but we’re not yet brave enough to say “It’s still a problem for me right now.” That’s why I decided to publish this as me, not a pseudonym as I originally planned to do, and why I’ve decided to talk about some things I’m still dealing with right now, not just what happened in my past.This wasn’t easy to write, but I hope it helps some victims out there know they’re not alone, or better understand what they’re going through, and I hope it helps those who haven’t experienced abuse to be more mindful of how they talk and think about it. [Funny tidbit: The first conversation we ever had was when he’d said something blasphemous, and I felt compelled to help him find God.She said each time an abuser snaps, it’s always worse than the time before, and that every woman who is killed by her spouse didn’t believe it would happen to her. People are supposed to be able to change, and as the “keeper of the home,” I am supposed to have the power to make that happen. Supposedly, my step-father “calmed down” over the years, but I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.My grandmother listed things I could just “go get” from government assistance.

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